Jun 21, 2016 - Personal Journey    No Comments

The Struggle Is Real!


The struggle is real…..

I worked my ass off for a little over 2 months- I changed the way I ate, exercised, studied and dropped 31 lbs. and then went on vacation for one weekend and I’m sure I’ve gained a huge amount of that weight back….2 months gone in 2 days- it’s bullshit and that’s why it’s so frustrating, annoying and easy to just give up!

But I’m not giving up- I haven’t stepped on the scale because I don’t want to get discouraged. I’m going to get back to busting my ass and do my best for the next 17 days and get back on the scale on July 8th and see where I land and take it from there.

It hasn’t been too hard to get back on track today with tons of water, walking and better food. I plan on hitting the bike, boxing when I get home and then getting back to my 5K practice tonight at the park.

Probably going to give myself this week to hit tons of cardio and then start back with weights on Monday- it’s always good to take a week or so off from weight lifting; same reason you change up your workout plan every now and then, so your muscle don’t remember the movements.

I’m frustrated right now but I’m going to stick with consistency and pick right up where I left of before vacation and try to keep moving forward- I doubt we’ll take another vacation for at least a year….probably longer…

Love, Peace and Sharkyness

Jun 14, 2016 - Personal Journey    No Comments

Update – June 8ish, 2016

I’m trying to update pictures on the 8th of each month but it was hard to do in June due to an office move…. But it wasn’t too late.



New bathroom, Same clothes, Same stupid faces. Down to 409 lbs.

Love,  Peace and Sharkyness

Jun 12, 2016 - Personal Journey    No Comments

Don’t Ask

I learned something yesterday thanks to my buddy #DonnieFitness; sure that isn’t his name but I like the way it sounds- you don’t really have to give a shit about other people.

I think, deep in my head, I had this fear of not losing enough weight- fast enough. When you see the success stories, it’s always “I lost 200 lbs. in 1 year!” or “I lost 150 lbs. yesterday”, which put more pressure on me and my relationship with the scale.

When you tell people (or they see) that you are losing weight and getting healthy, they always hit you with the same question…”so, how much have you lost?”


I always felt like a failure if I couldn’t give that impressive number and he really helped me realize that…eh, fuck ‘em.
I’m creating healthy habits, making changes, learning and trying to go through a Mass Evolution to become something I’m not and I may lose 1 lb. in a month or 50 lbs.- I just need to stay consistent with the effort.

There are words that some people don’t want to be called; there are things some people don’t want to hear and for fat people, who are seriously trying to get healthy…there are questions we don’t want get asked…and that is “how much have you lost?”

I didn’t even realize I had that in my head, but looking back, I can really see where that has been an issue for me for the last 2 decades!!!

Love, Peace and Sharkyness

Jun 1, 2016 - Personal Journey    No Comments



If you have never been 440 lbs.; then you don’t really know what it feels like.

That may sound rude but it’s the truth- it makes it really hard to do research and try to learn how to eat and exercise when most of the information is coming from people that don’t really have a clue where you are coming from because they have never been there. I’m not saying anything is bad against that because I’ve gotten some awesome advice and motivation from a couple of folks who have never been fat and it’s really helped, but there comes a time when you need true motivation from someone who’s been there and actually done it.

I hit up Google and search for “lost 200 lbs.” because that is my overall goal and I start finding stories; I start reading through one and I’m thinking that this is amazing…I feel motivated and inspired to do even more and then…BOOM…I get to the part where they had weight loss surgery and it’s like a balloon being deflated.

There is no inspiration…there is no motivation….there is no success story; posting a success story about weight loss surgery is like giving someone credit for beating kidney failure with a kidney transplant- you didn’t do it, the doctors did. Sure, I know you had to put in a little work- maybe do a bit of exercise here or cut back on some food there but you didn’t change your life. You didn’t put in the work and the struggle and the day to day fight to be a success story.

So…I keep looking…and I find success stories that start AFTER the success; that is great and there is some inspiration there but you still don’t get the day to day struggle. You see someone post a fat picture on one day and then the next day post their current picture and they’ve lost 100 lbs….wooo hooo…that’s awesome, but it just sucks because YOU see the instant change….even though it may have taken them a year or two, you don’t SEE that.

Then I found a website for a guy named Kyle who dropped about 270 lbs without surgery and he’s updated and poured his heart out and I’m plan to read every word he’s written and that’s what I want to be.

I’ve started this thing at my highest of 440 lbs. and I want to post as much as I can about what I’m actually doing, pictures of what I actually eat, what works and doesn’t work….success and failures and hopefully, a year or two from now, when I reach my goal- I can keep posting and be an inspiration to someone. I can show them the daily struggles of someone addicted to food and show that it’s a long process and it doesn’t happen overnight.

I’m sure there are others out there that do that and I’m doing my best to find them and use them as motivation and inspiration with the goal of joining them as soon as possible.

Love, Peace and Sharkyness

May 25, 2016 - Personal Journey    No Comments

It’s Not A Numbers Game

So, I always hear that weight loss is all about the numbers- we’ll here are some numbers for you and they DON’T add up.

Number of calories I need to MAINTAIN my weight – 5181 calories per day (per research)
Calories in a pound – 3500 calories


My estimated BMR is around 3338.6 calories per day.

Based on MyFitnessPal, I’m burning an avg of around 1200 calories per day with exercise and I’m eating about 1600 calories per day.

3338.6 Calories Burned
+1200 Calories Exercise
4538.6 estimated calories burned per day.
-1600 calories eaten
-2938.6 calories per day

So….to maintain my weight I could have 5181 calories per day, but instead, I’m getting -2938.6 calories per day. I would think that anything I ate under 5181 with NO added burning calories from exercise would cause my weight to go DOWN…for example, if 5181 causes me to maintain my weight, if I only ate 1681 calories- that should mean that I would drop 1 lb per day with no added exercise, but I’m just going to ignore that to make it easier. Let’s just ignore that 5181 because that would only show that I should be losing even MORE weight.

This means I should be losing 21,370.2 calories per week (I work out 5 days a week, the other 2 days I just used my estimated BMR.)


That comes to roughly 6.1 lbs per week….yet I’m losing 2 lbs per week and this week, so far, I’m actually UP!!!!

Now- I’ve read tons of stuff and I know that we are all different and every calorie isn’t the same- calories from a Snickers bar isn’t the same as calories from lean meat and veggies. I understand that metabolisms are different but, for this purpose, these averages are pretty close and I don’t think there should be such a huge difference.

I guess the point I’m trying to make is this –don’t tell fat people that weight loss is a numbers game because it’s SOOOO much more than that. I’m a fat guy and I get really frustrated when I read these numbers and see that I should be dropping 6 lbs yet I’ve gained a couple pounds; I’m busting my ass, eating better, logging all of my foods yet I’m not seeing the success that your books tell me I should be seeing.

I’m not giving up this time and I’m still going strong and trying to keep the consistency because I’m hoping that down the road these numbers may fall in line.
That damn scale is my biggest enemy right now.

On a side note- I worked out harder last night than I have over the last month…there is no stop in sight…I’m just trying to be honest from a fat guys point of view.

Love, Peace and Sharkyness