My Week On Keto

My Week on Keto

You’ve probably heard of keto by now and it sounds pretty impossible- it’s impossible because you get to eat a lot of bacon; but it also seems impossible because you can’t have sugar or bread!

Two types of impossible…and both are wrong.

I’m not going to break down what “keto” is or why it works- for that, do some research and then watch an awesome documentary on YouTube called – “Fat Head”. That will explain why and how it all works and why it makes sense. That will also explain why gluten allergies are suddenly the “cool” thing and give you an explanation to hit back with when some idiot says “we done did grow up with that there wheat and we ain’t never none of us done did die! Gawd dang it!”

What I want to do is give you some REAL information based on my first week trying the keto lifestyle (not a diet).

It’s taken me this long to try it because I was very skeptical, none of it made sense based on all the information I had about dieting and weight loss- how can you eat fat to lose fat…I mean you ARE what you eat! Wrong. I grew up with the government telling me to eat 10-12 servings of grains and almost NO fat!

Over my 39 years on this floating rock, I’ve tried a few diets and I’ve only had success a few times but that was really hard and I eventually gained all of my weight back and then some. My highest weight was 440 lbs and it wasn’t that long ago. I would lose 112 lbs, or 80 lbs and then gain it all back, but I never gave up. I started again this year with the whole “I’m gonna do it this time!” And I lost some and gained some…back and forth until last Monday (April 17th) when I decided to try this keto stuff…thanks from some pushing from my wife.

I hopped on the scale and I was at 425.8 lbs. My wife hopped on the scale and she was at…….well, she was not happy with the number, that’s where she was.

I’ve always said that I will NOT have weight loss surgery- I got here on my own and I need to fight my way out…so why not add keto to my other failed attempts; at least they can put “he never gave up” on my tombstone.

If you follow me, you know that we have already been trying some low carb stuff like “Fat Head Pizza Crust” but we hadn’t actually gone all the way- actually, we had stopped and decided to just hit Wal-Mart up every night for candy, cookies and junk and the ONLY thing that kept me from getting back to 440 lbs was the fact I was still doing my daily walking at work, which comes out to about 2.5 miles.

I read what we were supposed to do and laughed…..eat bacon, meat, lots of fat, REAL butter and you will lose weight…hahahahahalololololhahaha. Sure.

Day one wasn’t terrible, I had sort of put some of my food in the day before…for a normal day. I only got breakfast and lunch entered and was already at 118g of carbs…so my normal day was about 300-400 carbs…on the 17th, I had 21g of carbs- which was 5% of my 1,541 calories for that day…with my walking, I had 1,110 net calories.

I wasn’t starving and didn’t feel like I was really “torturing” myself either. I had a protein shake for breakfast, huge salad (with regular dressing) and a huge taco salad for dinner. I had some jello and an angus hot dog to snack on….thanks to the hot dog and regular dressing, my fat was pretty high.

For 7 days, I kept it around 15-25 carbs and 5%-10% of my MACROS….with high fat, moderate protein. I ate stuff like bacon, low carb meatloaf, pork rinds, full fat mayo with tuna fish, rotisserie chicken, pepperoni, shrimp and even broke down and had 2 cookies on Friday night and by “break down” I mean, I decided to make that my one, real reward per week. I wasn’t really having any issues to break down.

On Saturday, we took a “day off” and hit Buffalo Wild Wings- I got a medium order of traditional wings with blue cheese and drank water. I was stuffed, it was a higher calorie meal than normal but the carbs were very low and the fat was very high. It felt like a “day off” but it really wasn’t. I had more calories than normal but only 24g of carbs.

I even pee’d on a stick a few times to check my ketones and you could clearly see that it was working.

After one full week…I’m down 12 lbs and the wife is down 11 lbs. The only exercise we’ve done is walking, some basketball or shopping. I ate a ton of fat, some protein and very little carbs and I feel amazing. Eating this way also seems to automatically keep the sugar down as well…since carbs and sugars go hand in hand.

I haven’t noticed a huge amount of extra energy or anything like that, but I have been taking a daily vitamin, magnesium and drinking lots of water so “keto flu” hasn’t been too terrible- I have been a little sore, had a headache once but nothing major.

There is a huge difference though and that is why I think I have found the answer (at least for me)- the way I feel isn’t the same.

After a week on a “normal” diet, where I tried to limit my fat, I usually felt annoyed, angry, moody, depressed and felt like I was torturing myself and it was pointless. Why am I trying to force myself to eat food I can’t stand or kill myself in the gym, only to weight the same exact thing or even MORE???? (“Fat Head” also helped me understand why I had felt this way.)

Why not just enjoy my bag of Doritos, washed down with a package of Oreos…life is too short to not enjoy!

At this point, being on the keto lifestyle, I’m happy, motivated and the more keto friendly recipes I find the better life gets. The sugar free candy we have today isn’t your grandmothers sugar free candy…trust me- we got some Russell Stovers and it tastes BETTER than that stuff that is full of sugar. You do have to be careful because sugar alcohols go right through you and you will blow up the bathroom…trust me, it’s NO joke!

The key is moderation…sure, eat bacon…don’t eat 5 lbs. of it but eat what you want. Have a piece of sugar free Russell Stovers but don’t eat the whole bag. Sure, go to a restaurant once a week and eat keto friendly. Have that huge double bacon cheeseburger…just have it without the bun. Replace the fries with a salad and drop that fat free dressing crap…we know it tastes like….well, crap.

There is no urge to cheat because there is a keto friendly recipe for about every cheat food you can think of! It’s really not hard- use some common sense, track what you eat (I use MyFitnessPal), keep the carbs low, the fat high and have some protein. Do a little exercise here and there and enjoy life.

It’s only up from here….well, I mean…down….but I’m on my way to becoming a Keto Master and you are all going to be my students.

Bow to your sensei!!!!!

Love, Peace and Sharkyness
~~~~~shArky~~~~~

2 Comments

  • Hell yeah! For me the fat made me feel so full I couldn’t even eat lunch anymore. I’m proud of the both of you! Keep killing it!

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