Call Miss Peregrine…
…I’m stuck in a loop!!!
I lost some weight, screwed up a few days and jumped back to 399 last week- then I had a great week and got down to 388 on Saturday, only to screw up again and I didn’t even get on the scale this morning but I’m sure I’m back up again!
I keep working my ass off and getting lower during the week, screwing up on Saturday/Sunday and going way up and then spending the next 4-5 days getting back to I was, usually a pound or two lower. I do manage to scrap a pound or two but if I would stop screwing up and keep myself in ketosis, I would still be dropping mad weight!
There isn’t a reason for it either; that is what is so awesome about Sharketo- you get to eat amazing food! There is honestly no damn reason for me to keep doing this- anything I want, I can get a Sharketo friendly version of it…I honestly can’t explain it.
My only thoughts are that it’s more convenient and I honestly have a mental issue that I need to figure out. I was munching away on some cookies and it hit me and I told my wife “this is when I’m happiest” and it made me a bit sad. I grew up pretty poor and never had the ability to just walk into a store and literally buy anything I want and I seem to use that with food. It kills me to go somewhere and feel restricted on what I can buy- I’m the happiest when I walk in and tell myself- “you can have ANYTHING in this damn place!” So I buy candy, cookies, chips, etc because it’s almost like a power trip or something.
I told myself that I needed to be 100% honest in order for this to work and I want to tell you guys exactly what I go through to hopefully help someone in the same spot as I am- it’s something I have to work through. The reason it doesn’t make sense is, for example, candy- I can get sugar free candy and I honestly like the taste of it better but I still choose the stuff loaded with sugar/carbs, almost like to prove to myself that I can do what I want….it’s honestly fucked up. I don’t have to listen to myself, I can do whatever I want…screw myself. (See…..mental issues.)
It’s a form of self-sabotage and thankfully it hasn’t killed my entire progress…yet! I still managed to get a couple pounds down and be at my lowest so I have to get back up, get back on Sharketo and get the water weight that gained over the weekend back off and try to get some days/weeks/months of Sharketo in a row with NO CHEATS!
Hopefully we will get the final approval for house this week, having the closing early next week and then just focus the entire month of July on repairing, painting, cleaning and moving and stick with the plan.
I’ve had too much success to just give up at this point. I’ll punish myself tonight by eating an 80/20 hamburger with some bacon, mayo, sugar free ketchup and mustard…and some cheese! Yea, that should teach me a lesson….an amazing, delicious meal with about 2g of carbs.
See what I mean…no reason to NOT follow the Sharketo WOE.
Love, Peace and Sharkyness