Since screwing up on Keto, I’ve had one goal before trying to get back on the wagon and I’ve come close to that goal a few times but never achieved it- having ONE Iced Mocha from McDonald’s without anything being screwed up and it almost….ALMOST happened today!
I was so close, I could taste it….I could feel my destiny and then it was ripped from my hands.
This adventure has included getting an ice coffee with chocolate syrup, getting something that tasted like water with chocolate syrup, getting an Iced Mocha without the whipped cream/chocolate drizzle and having a guy trying to take our order and not having a clue what I was even talking about….but today felt different.
I had awoke early and had some extra time so I figured…why not? It rarely occurs to me that I can just stop and get stuff on my way to work and it’s always awesome when I realize that. I pulled into the Lawrenceburg McDonalds (the one on Commerce Way…our “usual”) with my expectations being pretty low- I was hoping to at least come away with a drink that included coffee in it. I ordered ONE Iced Mocha and the girl automatically entered an ice coffee…BUT….she caught herself instantly and corrected it- even asked me what type of milk I wanted, which blew my mind….I started wondering…I mean…could this be….nah, it couldn’t….but just maybe….JUST MAYBE…my adventure would come to an end. I knew I was way too optimistic- there were only a few feet between me and my Iced Mocha but those feet could have been miles.
I pulled up to the window and paid with my credit card- the girl asked if I wanted a receipt and seemed highly aggravated when I said yes…but that was OK….an employee being aggravated at wanting a receipt wasn’t a “screw up” and she had already instantly caught her mistake earlier…so my journey was still on course…I was still set to change my entire world!
I pulled to the next window and looked in at an older lady finishing up MY ICED MOCHA….oh my god, was it beautiful…it was perfection. It was just setting there, ready to go….brownish coffee with the dark chocolate syrup swirled around with a huge puff of whipped cream and MY GOD…the chocolate drizzle was perfect and that dome lit that helps shield your fingers completed it…ladies and gentlemen…this was it! My destiny- after so many failed attempts at perfection, August 23rd, 2017 would go down in history!
I looked away to put my credit card back in my wallet and get everything situated – I turned the air conditioner down, I had the stereo at the perfect listening level…my wallet and phone were put a way and then it happened….I was startled at first….the older lady was at the window with my drink but what had happened?????????
Where was my perfect drink???
I looked at her with obvious surprise- she could see it in my eyes….as if she had killed my only beloved son and I was staring at her with shock, anger and a ton of other emotions…
….this drink looked right but she had removed that glorious domed lid and replaced it with a flat lid, she had smashed the whipped cream and chocolate drizzle down as far as she could…for no reason…it had been perfect…and then I heard what she was saying…
“the Iced Moca doesn’t come with whipped cream or chocolate…so it’s your lucky day.”
I sat there for a few moments….contemplating life and death, thinking of ways to end my life right there…in front of this women- she deserved to see my death, she was the one responsible for it, after all.
I didn’t know what to say or do….even if she was right (which she wasn’t), why wouldn’t you have just left the dome lid on it instead of making a huge mess by smashing it down with a flat lit.
As I drove off, I put the straw in the lid and it instantly erupted, like a volcano of white lava- spewing out of the top of my straw all over me….like my hopes and dreams.
The irony of all of this is that we watched “The Founder” just the other night, it’s basically the story of McDonald’s and how they didn’t want it to become a shitty restaurant like all the others….like it has become today.
Iced Mocha seems like such a simple concept and maybe, JUST MAYBE…one day I’ll have it…but until then, my journey continues…certainly full of future heart ache and sorrow.
So…to my readers…don’t be like me- use me as an example to never put your hopes into a McDonalds…because they are all just so damn terrible.
And just as proof to show that I’m write, here is a screen shot from the actual McDonald’s page….whipped cream, chocolate drizzle and a DOMED lid….if only everything on the internet was reality…if only jpeg’s we found showed real life…how amazing would that be….what a wonderful world it would be….
Love, Peace and Sharkyness