Death Who?

Life changes pretty quickly..I went to bed on March 13th with some pressure- it felt like I needed to use the bathroom but couldn’t. I stayed home from work on March 14th and had pressure all day- I felt nauseas and dizzy and everything I found on the internet stated that it could be an impacted bowl. I had just finished an egg fast the week before and realized that I hadn’t had much fiber. I started taking some fiber gummies and continued to try to force myself to go number 2. I had a really rough night of March 14th but went into work on March 15th to enter my time but I continued to be extremely dizzy, nauseas and in a decent amount of pain.

I left work on March 15th and went to the DR- he said I had an impacted bowl and gave me laxatives and sent me home. My wife was at work and the pain greatly intensified sometime between 11:30am-12:00pm and I mean, to the point of me literally screaming and crying while I was home alone.

I was lying in bed- in and out of knowing what was going on…having chills and shakes, screaming in pain and trying to force myself to use the bathroom.

My wife came home from work and found me in the bed, basically out of it- confused, shivering and burning up. She called her mom and they helped me get to the car to take me to the ER. It was a very painful and long process. By the time we got to the hospital, I was too weak and in too much pain to get myself out so some guys rushed over and helped get me into a wheel chair.

They quickly got me back and got me ready for a CAT Scan. I was afraid they were going to have to flip me over and go in manually to get this stuck poop out but it was much…much worse.

The surgeon came in a while later and told me that my appendix had busted and questioned why I waited so long to come in, which wasn’t really fair because I was doing what the DR told me to do. He explained that it was a serious issue- the surgery is pretty common but every single thing that could be going against me was- it had already busted so it would make surgery much worse. I’m still extremely obese and I have severe sleep apnea. During the conversation, I truly felt like he was just trying to prepare my wife for the outcome…I basically heard – “it’s a common procedure with a low death rate but with all of your husbands issues, it doesn’t look very good for him.” No, that isn’t what he said but when you take all the “beating around the bush” and put it together…that is what he meant.

This wasn’t like an “almost had a car wreck…I almost died” type of situation- it was a legit “if you had waited much longer, you would have died in your bed and the shape you are in, you could very well not make it out of this hospital” situation.

My wife was there with me the entire time and I can’t explain how important that was. There are a few things that stick out from that night and will stick with me for the rest of my life.

  1. The hardest thing was trying to tell me wife, to tell my son, that I loved him very much. She asked if I wanted to call him but I was having a hard time of keeping it together so that wasn’t a great idea.
  2. Realizing that I was lucky enough to have the most amazing and gorgeous girl in the world setting next to me and that could have been the last time I got to touch her face or tell her how much I loved her.
  3. Religion never crossed my mind. I’ve been an atheist most of my life, but I wasn’t sure that when I was face to face with death, I wouldn’t try to pull some “just in case” bullshit and that would have made me question my entire life…that moment never came. I never thought of anything except the fact that this surgeon had my life in his hands and the outcome was totally based on medicine, science and his expertise. There was no thought of a god, Jesus, after-life or some type of “let’s make a deal” bullshit. It just wasn’t there and that makes me proud. That shows me that I am who I claim to be – 100%.
  4. The whiteness of the surgery room- it was this huge, massive white room with a bunch of stuff in the middle but enough room for 15 more beds- if needed. I remember some southern rock playing on the radio and sliding over to the other bed. The guy put that mask on me and told me to enjoy my nap and I was gone.
  5. My last words to my wife would have been I love you and my last words in this world would have been a Deadpool joke about wheeling me through the halls, headed to make me a mutant instead of taking my appendix out.

I woke up in recovery and there was my amazing wife. I spent a couple days in the hospital which was hell- from the IV, to taking blood to the bed NOT being made for a guy my size.

I’m about 1.5 weeks into recovery- it’s easier to get up and walk around but I can still only sleep on my back. Getting into the car is still pretty painful but things seem to be getting better day by day.

As far as the diet…they puffed about 16 lbs of fluids, air and gas into me. I didn’t really eat for a week and I got back to where I was and then lost another pound. I did take a couple days off to eat anything I wanted…I almost died, so I deserved it.

Today- I’ve started back on my coffee and vitamins and I’m going back strict Sharketo. I hope to go back to work on Friday and take it slow.

I will fully return to everything on April 1st– back to writing on, back to eating Sharketo and back to trying to do some exercise- I’ll have to start really slow but I’m starting back.

The surgeon basically said if I hadn’t lost almost 70 lbs- there is an even better chance I wouldn’t be here…losing that weight truly saved my life and I have a long way to go but it’s time to get back to the grind.

I’m on a journey and NOTHING is going to stand in my way…this didn’t kill me so it’s time to cover and continue on. I faced death and I’m still here because I got shit to prove to myself and the world.

Enjoy the day because, believe me, it can change in the blink of an eye.

Love, Peace and Sharkyness

Author: Administrator

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