Frustrating But OK
I decided to track my weight daily and write about my journey to show the world that weight loss is an exhausting, frustrating, annoying and difficult process. We see so many “before and after” pictures that people forget that just because you see the instant result with those pictures- the results are a roller coaster of ups and downs over a long period of time. Hopefully, about a year from now, you will see an amazing before and after picture of me but I want people to know it’s going to take me 1.5-2 years to get that damn picture.
I haven’t gone a week without gaining weight at least a few days…sometimes huge numbers and it’s frustrating…hell, I’m frustrated right now! I started back exercising and I’ve gained weight 3 out of the last 6 days- gaining way more than I’ve lost. I stared my full exercise program on Monday and I hit perfect Sharketo MACROS yesterday and KILLED my work out, only to gain 2.6 lbs over night.
The old me would give up NOW and eat whatever the fuck I want…I why even try if I’m still just going to gain weight. Well- I’m still down over 70 lbs. in 3 months and I feel amazing and better than I ever have!
A lot of people who do keto tell you NOT to exercise and you will lose more weight if you don’t but I’m not just trying to lose weight, I’m trying to make my 40s the healthiest I’ve ever been and that includes exercising and being able to move easier, breath better and have more stamina and not be tired all day. If exercising means I’ll lose weight slower or have to deal with several days of weight gain- then so be it. I don’t have a time frame- I’m not in a race, I hopefully have another 20 years to do this…I have the rest of my life, at least.
Sure, I have goals I want to meet but if I don’t get there…then I’ll reset my goals and continue moving forward…that goals will be reached and I don’t give a shit how long it takes me.
Here is a quick break down of some interesting facts that keeps me motivated through days of weight gain.
I was in the 390s for 15 days- I went from 392.2 to 398.8 in 3 days. But I lost it.
I was in the 380s for 15 days – went from 385.2 to 388.2 in 3 days. But I lose it.
I’ve been in the 360s now for about 9 days going from 364.4 to 368.2 over the last few days. And I will lose it and get into the 350s soon enough.
So…why am I gaining weight? When you don’t understand something, you RESEARCH and find the answers- this is from ClevelandClinic.org –
“When you start an exercise program your body naturally goes through several changes in the first couple months.
A new exercise regimen puts stress on your muscle fibers. This causes small micro tears, also known as micro trauma, and some inflammation. Those two conditions in your muscle fibers are the reason you may gain some weight.
Your body responds to the micro tears and inflammation…that cause temporary water weight gain.
The first is a healing response.
“That stress and micro-tearing damage to the muscle fibers induces water retention in the body,” Dr. Calabrese explains. “There may be a small amount of inflammation around the micro tear, and your body retains fluid there to try to heal it.” These are short lived changes in the muscle.”
I’m always changing up my exercise program and I hadn’t lifted weights in almost a month, since my appendix burst…so the exercise is “new again” to my body so it’s retaining water.
Here is a fact- yesterday and today I went longer on the bike than I have been- in the same amount of time. I was hitting harder during boxing and I was pushing myself hard with the weights and jogging. I have more endurance and more power- I’m getting stronger…so fuck a number on a scale. I know I feel amazing and I would continue this, at the same weight, just for the energy and the feeling I get from being motivated and see results that don’t show on a scale. I’m wearing a 3x shirt today….I haven’t done that in a long time. I pulled this shirt from the “back of the closest” where all the clothes are that I used to be able to wear but couldn’t any longer.
I go back and re-read my stuff all the time to remember exactly where I started – 440 lbs. and always on the verge of an anxiety attack due to not being able to breath and I know where I am now. In a few weeks, I’m going to come back and read this and I will be in the 350s and even closer to that 100 lbs. lost and it will help me get through gaining weight then as well.
The key is consistency and I’m starting to do this stuff as a routine, without even thinking about it and I’m going to do it daily, until I die.
On a side note, I tried to do a 24 hour fast last week and failed because I wasn’t ready to go that far yet but now that I’ve had another week on Sharketo…I’m ready. I’m eating lunch today at 12:15pm and then nothing but water until 12:30pm tomorrow. I need to do this to prove to myself that I’m back in control.
I write this stuff for me…to keep me on track and to force me to remember where I started and how far I’ve already come but if someone reads it and gets motivated or it helps them through weight gain and the frustration of this journey- then that is amazing! This is NOT easy and that is what I’m trying to show. I tell people I’ve lost 75 lbs in 3 months but they don’t understand that this is my main focus 24/7- from entering every food eating into MyFitnessPal to creating charts and spreadsheets to see where I am, to weighing daily to changing up my workouts and researching every day to adapt what I’m doing to the best possible plan. This is every second of my life. I’ve made this THE priority in my life and that is the ONLY way I’ve been so successful so far.
It’s hard work…I just make it look easy 😛
Love, Peace and Sharkyness