Weight loss is annoying, aggravating and a roller coaster of ups and downs- it’s a mental game that completely drains you- it’s never ending and the highs and lows can easily devastate every single thing you have done. I used to think it was pretty easy and what you need to do to be successful isn’t really complex- it’s the mentality of everything that just crushes you.
I had a great SharketoGiving, then screwed up on Black Friday…then decided to start Project <3 and I’ve dropped like crazy this week but then the scale starting going from 306 lbs to 320 lbs each time I stepped on it and, even after almost a year, I put EVERYTHING into that number on the scale.
We moved the scale, took it upstairs and back downstairs…I don’t know if it’s because the basement got too cold or maybe it was wrong and I’m much higher than I thought I was and I’m so close to Dec 1st and I didn’t want to have a single month during 2018 that I would gain and I’m right on that border line. November isn’t going to be a huge loss but it’s going to be close and now the scale is just going all over the place
My wife steps on the scale- perfect…gives her a number that is in line with where she should be. I get on and it just goes up and down, constantly, about a 20 lbs difference. I don’t fucking get it and I got frustrated and wanted to just chomp down some of our son’s Pop Tarts and say fuck it.
My amazing wife told me it wasn’t worth it and I talked myself out of it and fell asleep. I took the scale back downstairs, this morning, to where it’s been most of the year and it seemed to be back to normal but I’m still about 1 lb up for November and today is the final day so I’m shooting for fasting the day and hoping for the best in the morning and then looking at maybe getting a new scale.
OK…that rant is over…on to the good news and NSV….which also adds to the roller coaster of this journey.
Back on August 29th, I was around 325 lbs- I wasn’t losing much but my pants were getting bigger. I got out my old belt and BOOM…it was way too big and it wrapped around too far so I cut the tip off (about 4 holes). Over the next few months, I got rid of those pants and dropped down a size, which were a little snug or fit well so I stopped wearing the belt again.
Yesterday, I noticed my pants getting loose again so I got the old belt out and BOOM…it was way too big again so I cut some more off…another 4 holes or so. The scale only shows about a 15 lbs difference over the last 3 months but I’ve went down several pants sizes and cut off my belt again.
The scale isn’t moving (actually going up a bit) but my weight is getting smaller…I’M GETTING SMALLER!
And no- it’s not muscle- I went back to mostly all cardio thinking that is why I stopped losing so much.
I don’t fucking get it and it’s frustrating as hell and now it’s the weekend again- this is pretty much the turning point. I need to not screw up this weekend and NOT let the scale screw me up and I need to focus heavy on December and just blow it out of the water…I seriously need to see 299 lbs on that scale at the end of December- period.
I need to get through today, weigh in the morning and just accept what November was and attack December and just not weigh again for several weeks.
Love, Peace and Sharkyness