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Eat.

Seriously- that is the one thing I remember most. I went to play BINGO with her a few times (the best part were the snacks from the snack bar)- back when kids could play and YES…there was a time that children could play BINGO!

I remember going to Wal-Mart a lot- our old Wal-Mart had an amazing snack bar as well.

The one thing that truly sticks out is eating- mostly Giovanni’s pizza. That was one of the special things we did and we did it all the time- we lived on welfare and food stamps so if it was the middle of the month- she would pawn a ring for $20 just to go and eat pizza and then get it out on the first of the next month.

We went to Lexington about once per year and she would give me $20 and I would literally spend hours looking at Best Buy or Disc Jockey for that ONE special CD that was worth my money. The one that I would listen to over and over until the Lexington trip the next year. During that trip we would eat at a place called DUFFs or White Castle.

Food was a cheap way to celebrate everything…even just to celebrate a Thursday.

Sure, I had tons of toys and things that kids on welfare shouldn’t be able to afford but I was showered with love- through food- mostly pizza and amazing little pieces of garlic bread.

Due to my recent situation with fennel- I’ve basically decided to not eat pizza or Italian food again because the pain and risk of death just isn’t worth it- which means probably no more Giovanni’s and that honestly depresses me.

First- I thought “wow the fat guy is depressed because him get no more pizza” but then I realized it was something way deeper than that- like a family tradition that is over. Something that ended when my mom passed away but now it’s like it’s ending again because I could always go to Giovanni’s and have all those memories but now those are gone as well.

I do plan to celebrate her birthday on April 6th with some biscuits and gravy from McDonalds (her favorite during the last few years), a Frappe from McDonalds (also a favorite during the last few years) and White Castle (always one of her favorites) for dinner. No Giovanni’s but a “cheat day” in celebration of some of her favorite foods- food really was our way of celebrating and I’ve changed that and continue to fight to change that but that one day- I’ll allow it.

I cheated on my birthday and I’m working my ass off until April 6th. Then I’ll have a much earned cheat day and work my ass off again until July 20th- another cheat day.

I love food too much to eliminate cheat days but I’m trying to plan them so that I have 1 every three months or so and then quickly get back on Sharketo the next day. This is a great way for me to remain in control, still have foods I love but maintain a normal weight. Plus it helps keep me on track because I know that those dates are coming and I get to just binge for a day if I kill the other days.

Sure- a lot of folks may say that isn’t healthy but we all die one day and a life without a cheat day is no life at all.

Love, Peace and Sharkyness
~~~~~shArky~~~~~

Author: Administrator

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