…it took me a really long time to realize that.
Now that I’ve stopped talking to people first- I don’t really “talk” to anyone besides my wife and son and life is pretty awesome that way.
I’ve deleted almost everyone from my Facebook and stopped trying to put so much effort in other people only to realize all the effort, of any friendships I had, was basically only coming from me- so no effort- no friendships.
I figured this out years ago with some of Jackie’s “friends” but I’m finding it to be true for acquaintances as well now.
If I don’t make the effort to talk to them, they will NEVER make the effort to talk to me and that is that.
Hell, I have 30 people left on Facebook and more than half of those could go- the others are only there because they entertain me or are considered family.
There is no one out there really checking on me- asking if I’m OK or how life is going and I think that is why I get to specific points and lose motivation but I’m dealing with that pretty well at this point.
I see stuff on the news and want to share it with the world- share how fucked up it is or how no one is really trying to stop it…and then I realize again…no one really cares. There would be no American Revolution or Civil War in 2019 because no one really cares.
I post awesome stuff on social media and it either gets one like (my wife) or tons of robo-likes (Instagram).
So- if no one cares- why continue to write and update SharkysWorld?
I’ve been a longtime fan of writing, blogging (keeping a journal for you super old folks) and just getting all of the stuff in my head- out. I write stuff because I’m interested in it, I enjoy it or I just need to see my thoughts come out into words. I’m slowly learning this is my form of stress relieve (other than food).
“Well, that’s cool Sharky but no one cares!”
Those are facts but SharkysWorld is here for me (not you) – it’s my form of journaling. It’s electronic because I’ve tried to write the way we did in the old days- pencil and paper- and honestly, it’s just annoying. I start out fine but before I finish the last sentence I’m aggravated and I can’t even read what I’ve written because I’m trying to write so fast.
I do have a similar problem with typing it though because I type so fast and think faster so I’m already thinking about the sentence I’m going to type out three sentences from now so I’m not even focused on this sentence or making sure it’s got the write words, etc. (see what I did there.)
I do NOT have time to go back and read this crap I write (and neither should you really) because I’m always on to doing something else. It’s here for me anyways, so who cares- once it’s out- it’s time to move on.
With all that said, why make it public and not just use a private Word document or something? While it’s here for me, what does it hurt if someone reads it and understands where I’m coming from? There are people out there with the same thoughts and opinions as I have and we all need to know we aren’t alone…even if no one really cares. When I was 15 years old and realized I was an atheist, it would have been AMAZING to know that other atheists were out there…now, thanks to people speaking out, I realize that I’m surrounded by atheists…or people who claim to be Christians but aren’t.
Did I do perfect Sharketo yesterday and get my exercise in or did I binge eat until I felt so shitty I wanted to die?
No one cares. Of course my wife and son probably care…but no one else.
That is one of those things that we need to really get clear- at least I do.
No one cares about you or what you think or have to say and when you put it out into the world- it’s not going to change things because the world is full of hard headed, ignorant asshats who are either too fucking stupid to understand reality or their double standard won’t allow them to.
Good or bad, I need to start living my life that way. I need to start writing for me and posting stuff I like and I’m interested in and I need to do it HERE….my world…the world that I own.
I’ve been posting pretty regularly now for over 1.5 years and it’s cool to go back and read my old stuff to see where I was back then.
I need to make this more of a journal instead of a “help” site- trust me, I’ve wasted so much time of my life trying to “help” others with my advice or what I’ve been through and spent so much time writing with the reader in mind…that may work if you are trying to become a famous author but I’m not.
I’m just trying to get this shit out of my head and do something I honestly enjoy…you do that to focus on YOU- not an audience.
On a side note…I did have a successful day of Sharketo yesterday and I did get back on the bike and boxing and it felt pretty amazing. My wife had to work late and my son had band practice and I was alone for 3 hours and could have gotten ANYTHING I wanted and only I would have known…and I thought all day about it- I was going to get Burger King and brownies- but I won that battle and mentally talked myself out of it. I took my pre-workout, cooked a Sharketo friendly dinner and got back on track.
Yesterday was a pretty big win for me…and…no one really cares.
Love, Peace and Sharkness