Falling

I walked down our little brick walk to get the mail yesterday and noticed that our yard was already starting to get covered in brown, yellowish leaves.

Fall officially begins on September 23rd but I consider September, October and November to be “Fall”- December is “Winter” for me.

Fall begins for me in 18 days and I couldn’t be more excited but I really want to shake this “funk” that I’m in so that I can enjoy everything Fall (and a small part of Winter) contains!

I’ve had a rough year…and a really rough last couple of months and for no reason other than food.

I’m a very happy person (overall)- I have a decent job, amazing little family, nice little place to live and all the things I need (and so many people don’t have). No matter how “happy” I am- I’m still depressed and just don’t care about my health or the crap I’m stuffing in my face.

I’ve gained some of the weight back and not only am I mentally unhappy about it- I’m physically miserable and I completely understand why and how to change that- I just choose not to do it.

Fall doesn’t make that any easier with all the Halloween candy and Pumpkin Spice non-sense and then you have Christmas and all the candy, food and peppermint flavors that goes into that- in reality, this is the HARDEST time to really focus on healthy and I’m still struggling to get back where I need to be.

I’m way off track at this point.

I have 4.5 months left before 2020 and still have a long way JUST to get back to where I was about a year ago and then even farther away from being where I want to be but if I don’t stop- I’m going to be back to where I was- at 440 lbs- and if that happens- I honestly just don’t have the fight in me to do it all again.

I’m trying to set things up so I can be my happiest and live that “best life” lifestyle but the food continues to be an issue- uncontrollable binges. I literally tell myself that I’m doing to get back and then a minute later I’m eating a package of Oreos- it’s honestly THAT fast! I don’t even realize it sometimes.

Still not giving up though.

Wanting to tackle it head on and I’ve got the happiest time of the year just around the corner and I need to do all the things that make me the happiest and that is Sharketo- not just food- but the entire lifestyle and way of life.

I need to eat, sleep and shit #Sharketo.

I need to follow my own plan of #SharketoADED.

I say it over and over and over but just can’t seem to actually do it….today probably isn’t different than yesterday but the fact that I’m motivated and still swinging has to mean something.

Here’s to struggling for #SharkMode!

Love, Peace and Sharketo
~~~~~shArky~~~~~

Author: Administrator

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