I can’t give you a success story- yet…hell, I can’t even give myself one full day without screwing up.
BUT…I do have something to offer- failure.
Learn from all of my mistakes and understand that the little line between the before and after picture IS the journey. It’s the struggles, the failures and all the effort you’ve put into it- yet others don’t even notice it’s there; they just see the before and after.
I’m showing you that damn line.
I’m being honest with myself (and whoever reads this) with that fact that I’m failing and in a downward spiral that I can’t stop- no matter how hard I fight.
I’m here to show you that it doesn’t matter what your family or friends may say- food addiction is real and it’s the HARDEST addiction anyone will ever have to battle- you tell me another addiction that humans HAVE to deal with- daily- just to survive.
You don’t see crack commercials all day long on TV, you don’t have meth shops splattered all over the side of the roads with images and smells…OK…maybe you do in Kentucky…but most places don’t!
You don’t have to figure out how to have “just a few sips of alcohol” everyday yet not go overboard when you’re an alcoholic.
Food addiction is real and I’m the only proof you need.
I’m learning, day by day, that 90% won’t cut it- I mean- you would think that if you fast, exercise and eat right 90% of the time, you would be successful that that isn’t the case for me. 100% is the only thing that works for me and it’s almost impossible for me to do that…I’ve found that 99% doesn’t even work for me.
I could do perfect all week and have a couple cookies and the entire week is ruined…I’m at that point.
The only option for success is going in 100% and I just haven’t been able to do that- I keep trying and I keep failing and it sucks to have to write- day after day- about how I’m failing.
My brain says – “Dafaq man? Why can’t you just do it?”
I love the food you can have on Sharketo and I actually like the exercising and the feeling I get when I start losing weight but sugar always pulls me back in- even when I’m telling myself NO. I literally eat bad shit, while my brain is yelling at my body to not do it.
I don’t need bread, I don’t need pasta…but sugar just gets me- cakes, cookies, pies…all of that stuff is, without a doubt, my kryptonite.
If you have friends or family trying to lose weight- support them in any way you can and please understand that it’s the single hardest thing a person can do…and I mean that with everything in me.
There is no quitting cold turkey, there is no “# of days sober” and there is no “just removing it from your life” or “removing yourself from those types of people.”
You can’t remove yourself from food and you can’t remove people who eat from your life.
I will say that yesterday was better…I didn’t go to Wal-Mart and buy a buggy of shit…that is the only positive I have right now.
Love, Peace and Sharketo