I had to go back and re-evaluated why I’m writing about this journey and who I’m hoping to motivate or even inspire and I highly doubt it’s you.
Now that keto is blowing up and everyone is doing it, I see all these “success” stories and it bugs the shit out of me because I’m struggling- mostly mentally- and I see all these folks losing weight on keto with not many problems.
Here’s a problem- their journey isn’t mine and they don’t even compare to mine.
All these people trying to lose 20 lbs here and there…even up to 100 lbs really- it’s not the same fight mentally and I’m comparing myself to these folks.
I started this needing to lose 220 lbs. I’ve been morbidly obese pretty much my entire life and I’ve struggled with binge eating since I was a kid – add on some depression and you get a 440 lb guy.
These folks that don’t really do much and simply eat a few too many carbs aren’t on the same level as I am and I’m not saying that to be conceded- I’m saying it because they don’t understand the mentality a person who is truly obese deals with.
If you have never been overweight and just recently used keto to drop 20 lbs and run around telling everyone about your amazing weight loss transformation- don’t.
Let’s talk about the fucking mental battle because these trainers who have never really experienced it have no fucking clue. These folks that jumped on the keto train to lose 10 lbs because their small was getting a bit snug don’t have a fucking clue either.
Here’s the deal- many of us are fighting every fucking day of our life- mentally- with literally committing a very slow suicide and you are putting yourself on the same level.
The stuff I write isn’t for you- my struggle isn’t meant to do shit for you.
Today is starting my 2nd week of keto- doing it perfectly and not going over 15g of net carbs and not screwing up at all and guess what- I’ve gained 6 lb over the last 3 days. I finally made it through a weekend without eating all the bad stuff- so much to the point of thinking I may literally day- and my reward was a 6 lb gain!
How’s that for a fucking mental fight….doing exactly what you know works and seeing the scale go up 6 lb in 3 days.
Why exactly should I even keep trying- hell, I can gain 6 lbs eating McDonalds and brownies- why continue getting up if you are going to lose the fight either way?
When someone finally says stuff like this, folks call you a “hater” and I’m trying to explain that we are celebrating those that didn’t really have much of a fight and ignoring those that are getting the shit beat out of them yet still getting up time and time again.
All this rambling because I’m annoyed and aggravated- basically- if you aren’t 100 lbs or more overweight or ever been that overweight, move on from my story because you won’t be able to relate- you will be the person that says shit like “just do it- exercise more and eat less…look at me…I dropped 8 lbs in just 3 years on keto!!”
We have fucking candle lightings for meth heads struggling but laugh at the obese folks fighting the same fucking addiction- only worse.
You don’t see bars of meth next to the cash register in ACE Hardware…do you…a person addicted to food can’t even go into a fucking hardware store without being smacked in the face with their addiction.
You don’t see that shit with any other addiction- not alcohol and not even gambling- while many places have lottery tickets in your face- they don’t at the hardware store but they DO have fucking candy bars.
I know…I know…how weak and what a lack of will power that a fat ass can’t be close to a Snickers without giving in yet drug addiction and alcoholism are fucking diseases…got it.
I’ll happily debate anyone that food addiction is the SINGLE worst addiction there is and I’ll prove it time and time again and rip any argument apart because it’s a fact.
If you aren’t and have never been that overweight then….
It’s that simple- I’m sharing my struggles and journey for folks in my situation and that probably isn’t you. I want to inspire, motivate and just show people in my situation that I understand what they are going through because I’ve been there my entire life and yet…here I am…still fighting every fucking day.
But now what do I do…keep fighting even though it seems pretty pointless or just give in and go ahead and work my way towards getting on “My 600 lbs Life”?
Having all these folks claim weight loss success is like me claiming to have beat alcoholism- I drink maybe 2-3 per year and never really been “drunk” but how about I start bragging about being ## of days sober and become an inspiration to alcoholics all over the world? I don’t do that because I’ve never actually been an alcoholic so I’m not going to run around telling folks how I beat alcoholism. I don’t know their battle and the fact that I can only drink a few times a year and not become addict to it isn’t really showing them how I “beat” it- we aren’t on the same level.
Great job Karen- you made a minor change to your lifestyle and dropped 10 lbs- what a fucking inspiration…you should travel around America telling morbidly obese people that if YOU can lose 10 lbs then they can surely lose 200 lbs and beat their crippling addiction to food.
Where do I buy tickets to see your amazing show?
Love, Peace and Sharkyness