I was given this role…I didn’t play it.
We are all given a role when we are born- sure, your parents hopefully tell you that you can be anything you want and a very small handful actually change it but for the most part, we all fall right into place.
Some people move out of that small town and hit the big time…some try only to return and some just settle in with the thought that something like that is impossible.
When I was born, my parents lived in the projects…the ghetto…tiny apartments within the Housing Authority- whatever you want to call it- I called it Crescent Drive. I’m not delusional, it wasn’t anything like you see in the movies or the ghettos of huge places like New York- I didn’t live in fear of drive bys are getting robbed…BUT…I was placed into my role.
Being poor isn’t a color issue, at least it wasn’t for me…although I was the minority. There were a few of us white kids but mostly black kids and we played together and it wasn’t an issue. Being a different color wasn’t the issue…being poor was.
My dad left when I was a very early age so it was always just my mom and I – no siblings…no real family-just us. There were aunts, uncles and cousins but I rarely saw them and when I did they always called me “little Jerry number 2” because I’m named after my dad. It was understood by society that I was a poor kid from a single parent home getting free lunch and I had a clear path…probably to a life of crime, fast food or factories.
I was destined to have a kid and then leave…like my dad. I was destined to never make anything out of my life and simply play the role I was given but I didn’t let that happen.
I was always the fat kid and while I did have a few bullies throughout my school days, it wasn’t as bad as some of the other fat kids…I was one of the “cool” fat kids and that got me through life. I had a couple of girlfriends here and there, got a job at Burger King and then went to college.
I moved out at 18 and had my own place- I was still super fat but had no issues getting girls but I noticed that I had started to swing more towards “my path” with multiple fast food and factory jobs but I was in my 20s and enjoying being a bachelor so it wasn’t a huge issue.
There were moments I tried straying from my path…when I moved to London, KY and become a Certified Medical Coder…I was getting some articles published here and there but then life happens and I got knocked back down.
Then my wife came along and pushed me to entirely new path…she is the MAIN reason I didn’t end up exactly how I was supposed to- she pushed me because I wanted to do the best I could for her…I struggled through a few temp jobs, then a grant position and then fought my way into a full time position and started working my way up and along the way, I helped push her to do some things that got her into a better position.
Along the way we had a baby and, honestly, I was scared to death that I would swing back to my destined path but I didn’t…I’m not saying I stayed with my wife because we had a baby- I’m saying that I refused to fall into the role I was given…I stopped the cycle. My dad didn’t have a father around and I didn’t have a father around but my son has had a father for the first 11 years of his life and he will have one around until I die.
I’ve been at the same job over 12 years now and even got an outstanding employee award earlier this year…no fast food or factories. I’m not saying those are bad jobs but if you have common sense, you get what I’m saying…and trust me, there is NO doubt in me that I could still end up working at McDonald’s one day…nothing is promised in this world.
On top of all of that, I’ve spent the last 6 years of my life running a charity and giving back to kids.
My son has never lived in the projects and has no clue what that type of life is like…he’s never had to go through the lunch line and get free lunch or stand in line to wait or free cans of pork or blocks of cheese. He’s never stood in a grocery line and been embarrassed that his mom had to pay with food stamps. He’s never had to run into multiple stores to buy a cheap piece of candy with a food stamp in order to get real money back as change.
Again- I’m not saying any of that is bad…I’m just being honest with the way I felt as a kid. We aren’t rich now, we are just above the line that I talked about in the paragraph above- we are just above the levels that get you all of the government help…but we are making it and that is a step forward…a step away from the role I was given.
This all comes back to weight loss- both of my parents were overweight and I was an only child on food stamps- I was spoiled and grew up on unhealthy food because it was way cheaper and that is a fact.
That is the one role that I have been type casted with and I can’t seem to break out of it. I remember telling myself in middle school that I would not spend my life being overweight and it’s been an up and down roller coaster ever since- weight highs up to 440 lbs and lows down to 295 lbs. and everything in between and I just can’t get it under control.
I’m proud of myself for everything I’ve done with my life and I don’t feel like it’s been a waste but then I remember just how obese I am and it seems to outweigh everything else. (get it…outweigh…because I outweigh most people…humor people!)
The wife and I are trying to start fresh today, November 1st on Sharketo and finally get this under control and I want to be positive and motivated but there have been so many setbacks along the way and it seems to get harder and harder each time we try.
I want to go into “beast mode”….I want to get strict and do it…even if it kills me…I’m 4 months away from 40 years old and almost to the no turning back point.
I have to do something amazing…breathtaking and prove to the world that I’m more than this role I was given.
I’m ready for my close up.
Love, Peace and Sharkyness