Apr 25, 2017 - Recipes    No Comments

Sharkaroni Pizzabowli

Are you like me….eh, probably no…did you remove all of the toppings from your pizza as a kid? Did you then feed the crust to your dog, who was named Fugly? Ok…so you are sort of like me but not exactly, but that’s OK. (Yes, my dog was named Fugly. Yes, I was probably 10-ish so that may not have been the best name)

I didn’t make my wife my Sharkette for nothing…she is perfect, in every way and this recipe goes to show it. She didn’t know that I wasn’t a huge crust fan as a kid, yet she found a recipe, tweaked it and came up with a way for us to eat all the best parts of a pizza- and it fits into the keto lifestyle and it taste amazing!

So here is a great recipe- it’s pretty filling and gives you the amazing taste of pizza without all the carbs.

Another low carb option is our “Hammer Head Pizza Dough” which you can find right here…over in the recipe section!

.50 of an onion
.50 green bell pepper
.25 tsp ground black pepper
1 can of peeled tomatoes, diced, no salt added
.50 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 
.50 tsp dried oregano, ground
1.5 cups Mozzarella cheese, shredded
17 slices of turkey pepperoni
16 oz. ground chuck (80/20)
.25 tsp salt

You can also use sausage instead of ground chuck but I have a rough time eating sausage due to some of the seasoning that is in there, so we go with good ol’ cow.

It’s pretty easy, fry up the ground chuck like you were going to make taco meat, cut up the onion and green bell pepper.

Put a layer of ground chuck into a baking dish, then layer on everything else ending with the pepperoni on top.

Pop into a preheated even (400 degrees) and let it cook for about 20-25 minutes and you are good to go.

Ours was a bit watery because we blended the tomatoes into a sauce, and I think that pulled the water out of the tomatoes, but it was still amazing. I’m not a big fan of tomatoes and it’s easier to eat them if I think they are pizza sauce….I’m weird…so what…who cares?

This made 4 servings –

474 calories
33.3g fat
34.4g protein
7.3g carbs (5.8g net carbs)
1.5g fiber 
650.8mg sodium

It also has a lot of other great stuff like vitamin A, C, calcium and iron.

You could use regular diced tomatoes that have more salt since sodium is needed in keto, use regular pepperoni, add mushrooms or whatever else you like on your pizza.

OR

You could just stuff the entire package of turkey pepperoni into your mouth…which is what I do sometimes.

Love, Peace and Sharkness
~~~~~shArky~~~~~

Apr 24, 2017 - Recipes, Weight Loss    No Comments

Shark Piss…I Mean Sharkfee

I’m a member of some keto Facebook groups and it seems the admins of some of them get a little crazy when you use the term “bulletproof coffee” when you are talking about coffee with non-salted butter, coconut oil or heavy whipping cream. They believe it causes much confusion and delay.

Bulletproof Coffee is actually a trademark- there is a difference in Bulletproof Coffee and bulletproof coffe….one is a name brand and one is something you just throw together. 

The actual Bulletproof Coffee is something you can get from a webpage and it has their brand of “fancy” coffee with some “fancy” grass-fed butter or ghee stuff and some “fancy” brain octane oil.

Now, by “fancy”, I actually mean expensive.

Most of us just make the “bulletproof coffee” that you can find on the internet that has just normal coffee, coconut oil and grass-fed unsalted butter or heavy whipping cream.

It seems that we need SOMETHING to call this delicious, frothy goodness and since this is my website and I don’t want you to get confused…I’ll call mine Shark Piss.

Mmmmmmmmmm Shark Piss….

Ok, fine…that doesn’t sound like something you would want to drink.

So, let’s call it – Sharkfee. (or Cream of Shark…which also doesn’t sound very pleasant.)

This was created by my amazing wife, the Original Sharkette and she basically just Googled…”bulletproof coffee” and saw that it was way too expensive so then she clicked on another link of a homemade version and boom! We stole that recipe, made a very slight change and renamed it Shark Piss….no, I mean…Sharkfee.

Basically, get some coffee….I don’t care what kind- we use K-cups or usually whatever is cheapest…I think this time our selection was Kroger brand. Make that cup o’ coffee and then throw in –

1 tbsp unsalted butter
1 tbsp pure coconut oil
2 tbsp sugar free chocolate syrup

*must blend in a blender to fully mix. 

Now, you can use ANY sugar free syrup or none at all…we like chocolate. We found some at the Dollar Tree and picked it up.

Our version doesn’t have as much calories, which could be good or bad, depending on what you are going for.

1 serving (a cup/K-cup) is –

220 calories
1g carb
25g fat
0g protein

This is a good drink to help get enough healthy fat; which is a must for me because I eat a lot of chicken and meat and sometimes drink a Premier Protein shake for breakfast.

Now I’m not a DR but coconut oil has some great health benefits and I’m thinking that “fancy brain octane” could just be coconut oil but I don’t really care enough to research it.

SO…here is some fancy stuff I stole from Livestrong.com-

“Coconut oil contains a unique form of saturated fats known as medium-chain triglycerides. Unlike other saturated fats, MCTs provide an energy source for the body, rather than being stored, according to “Supplements 101” by Jim Stoppani. The fats contained in coconut oil may also help to boost thermogenesis and/or fat burning in the body. You can take either organic virgin coconut oil or isolated MCT supplements extracted from coconuts. Follow a few guidelines to add coconut oil to your fitness program.”

Now…if YOU are a member of a keto Facebook group, be sure to use “Shark Piss” when you are talking about our version of this drink! Do not cause confusion and delay!

Wait…I meant Sharkfee.

Love, Peace and Sharkness
~~~~~shArky~~~~~

My Week On Keto

My Week on Keto

You’ve probably heard of keto by now and it sounds pretty impossible- it’s impossible because you get to eat a lot of bacon; but it also seems impossible because you can’t have sugar or bread!

Two types of impossible…and both are wrong.

I’m not going to break down what “keto” is or why it works- for that, do some research and then watch an awesome documentary on YouTube called – “Fat Head”. That will explain why and how it all works and why it makes sense. That will also explain why gluten allergies are suddenly the “cool” thing and give you an explanation to hit back with when some idiot says “we done did grow up with that there wheat and we ain’t never none of us done did die! Gawd dang it!”

What I want to do is give you some REAL information based on my first week trying the keto lifestyle (not a diet).

It’s taken me this long to try it because I was very skeptical, none of it made sense based on all the information I had about dieting and weight loss- how can you eat fat to lose fat…I mean you ARE what you eat! Wrong. I grew up with the government telling me to eat 10-12 servings of grains and almost NO fat!

Over my 39 years on this floating rock, I’ve tried a few diets and I’ve only had success a few times but that was really hard and I eventually gained all of my weight back and then some. My highest weight was 440 lbs and it wasn’t that long ago. I would lose 112 lbs, or 80 lbs and then gain it all back, but I never gave up. I started again this year with the whole “I’m gonna do it this time!” And I lost some and gained some…back and forth until last Monday (April 17th) when I decided to try this keto stuff…thanks from some pushing from my wife.

I hopped on the scale and I was at 425.8 lbs. My wife hopped on the scale and she was at…….well, she was not happy with the number, that’s where she was.

I’ve always said that I will NOT have weight loss surgery- I got here on my own and I need to fight my way out…so why not add keto to my other failed attempts; at least they can put “he never gave up” on my tombstone.

If you follow me, you know that we have already been trying some low carb stuff like “Fat Head Pizza Crust” but we hadn’t actually gone all the way- actually, we had stopped and decided to just hit Wal-Mart up every night for candy, cookies and junk and the ONLY thing that kept me from getting back to 440 lbs was the fact I was still doing my daily walking at work, which comes out to about 2.5 miles.

I read what we were supposed to do and laughed…..eat bacon, meat, lots of fat, REAL butter and you will lose weight…hahahahahalololololhahaha. Sure.

Day one wasn’t terrible, I had sort of put some of my food in the day before…for a normal day. I only got breakfast and lunch entered and was already at 118g of carbs…so my normal day was about 300-400 carbs…on the 17th, I had 21g of carbs- which was 5% of my 1,541 calories for that day…with my walking, I had 1,110 net calories.

I wasn’t starving and didn’t feel like I was really “torturing” myself either. I had a protein shake for breakfast, huge salad (with regular dressing) and a huge taco salad for dinner. I had some jello and an angus hot dog to snack on….thanks to the hot dog and regular dressing, my fat was pretty high.

For 7 days, I kept it around 15-25 carbs and 5%-10% of my MACROS….with high fat, moderate protein. I ate stuff like bacon, low carb meatloaf, pork rinds, full fat mayo with tuna fish, rotisserie chicken, pepperoni, shrimp and even broke down and had 2 cookies on Friday night and by “break down” I mean, I decided to make that my one, real reward per week. I wasn’t really having any issues to break down.

On Saturday, we took a “day off” and hit Buffalo Wild Wings- I got a medium order of traditional wings with blue cheese and drank water. I was stuffed, it was a higher calorie meal than normal but the carbs were very low and the fat was very high. It felt like a “day off” but it really wasn’t. I had more calories than normal but only 24g of carbs.

I even pee’d on a stick a few times to check my ketones and you could clearly see that it was working.

After one full week…I’m down 12 lbs and the wife is down 11 lbs. The only exercise we’ve done is walking, some basketball or shopping. I ate a ton of fat, some protein and very little carbs and I feel amazing. Eating this way also seems to automatically keep the sugar down as well…since carbs and sugars go hand in hand.

I haven’t noticed a huge amount of extra energy or anything like that, but I have been taking a daily vitamin, magnesium and drinking lots of water so “keto flu” hasn’t been too terrible- I have been a little sore, had a headache once but nothing major.

There is a huge difference though and that is why I think I have found the answer (at least for me)- the way I feel isn’t the same.

After a week on a “normal” diet, where I tried to limit my fat, I usually felt annoyed, angry, moody, depressed and felt like I was torturing myself and it was pointless. Why am I trying to force myself to eat food I can’t stand or kill myself in the gym, only to weight the same exact thing or even MORE???? (“Fat Head” also helped me understand why I had felt this way.)

Why not just enjoy my bag of Doritos, washed down with a package of Oreos…life is too short to not enjoy!

At this point, being on the keto lifestyle, I’m happy, motivated and the more keto friendly recipes I find the better life gets. The sugar free candy we have today isn’t your grandmothers sugar free candy…trust me- we got some Russell Stovers and it tastes BETTER than that stuff that is full of sugar. You do have to be careful because sugar alcohols go right through you and you will blow up the bathroom…trust me, it’s NO joke!

The key is moderation…sure, eat bacon…don’t eat 5 lbs. of it but eat what you want. Have a piece of sugar free Russell Stovers but don’t eat the whole bag. Sure, go to a restaurant once a week and eat keto friendly. Have that huge double bacon cheeseburger…just have it without the bun. Replace the fries with a salad and drop that fat free dressing crap…we know it tastes like….well, crap.

There is no urge to cheat because there is a keto friendly recipe for about every cheat food you can think of! It’s really not hard- use some common sense, track what you eat (I use MyFitnessPal), keep the carbs low, the fat high and have some protein. Do a little exercise here and there and enjoy life.

It’s only up from here….well, I mean…down….but I’m on my way to becoming a Keto Master and you are all going to be my students.

Bow to your sensei!!!!!

Love, Peace and Sharkyness
~~~~~shArky~~~~~

Apr 20, 2017 - Recipes    No Comments

Sharked Eggs

Yesterday, I saw someone post a picture of deviled eggs and I about lost it- the cravings hit and I was dying for one.

So….last night, I put some recipes together and came up with one that I call – Sharked Eggs.

Now, I’m not much of a cook but I’m learning and this was the FIRST time every making my version (or any version) of deviled eggs…and I must say, they turned out pretty amazing.

RECIPE

12 Eggs
½ cup mayo
3 tbsp chives
1 tsp mustard
1 pinch of salt
1 dash of pepper
Some sprinkles of paprika
Some bacon

It’s really pretty easy- you hard boil the eggs. I put the eggs in water with some salt, turned the heat up on HIGH until it came to a rapid boil, then I covered them…turned the heat off and let them set for about 12-14 minutes and they turned out perfect. I then put them directly into some ice water and then de-shelled them under running cold water. Worked perfectly.

Cut the eggs in half and remove the yolk- should be a little ball of goodness.

Then, just mix all the stuff up with the yolk and stir really well, fill up the egg halves, sprinkle some paprika and then put little pieces of bacon in them for the shark fins.

The bacon adds some crunchy, flavor and just goes really well with eggs.

This makes 12 servings, just remember that a serving is 2 of them, which equals one egg.

MACROS (per serving, 2 Sharked Eggs)

Carbs – 0.5g
Fat – 13.1g
Protein – 7.3g
Calories – 152

Love, Peace and Sharkyness
~~~~shArky~~~~~

Keto Master

Working on Day 3 of my training to be a Keto Master…so far, so good.

Let’s look at a normal day and the routine I’m trying to get into –

Breakfast – Premier Protein Shake. Low carb, high protein. (weekends will be bacon/eggs, etc.)
Lunch – Huge salad with some protein and regular dressing, just not an entire bottle.
Snack – Sugar free Jello, tuna/mayo/celery, pork rinds, etc.
Dinner – Grilled chicken, salad, low-cab meat loaf, shrimp, etc

As for suppliments-

2 GNC Mega Men Energy/Metabolism Multivitamin
1 Magnesium pill
1 Iron pill (I have low iron, based on blood results)
1 Sinus pill
Muscletech Pre-Workout Explosion (3 days a week, only on weight lifting days)

That’s about it. We’ll be adding other lunches/dinners, etc as we learn more about low carb food, cooking and stuff.

This is only the third day, so it’s a long road ahead.

I’m trying to focus on eating better right now and keeping my carbs below 30 but yesterday, I went out and played basketball for about an hour with my son and that wore me out. I do plan on getting back on my exercise schedule of stationary bike, boxing, kettlebells, resistance bands and weights in the next week or so. I’m still walking three times a day at work.

So far, in 2 days…the wife has dropped 6 lbs. and I’m down 4 lbs. – I know it’s water weight, trust me…I’m not new to this weight loss stuff.

I’ve been trying for years (with some success) and even though I’ve failed or lost the small success I’ve had…I’ve never given up trying.

Based on all of the research I’ve done and watching my friends lose weight with Keto…I’m thinking this is the road for me.

I WILL be a Keto Master.

Love, Peace and Sharkyness
~~~~shArky~~~~