Gain of 15
Up 15 lbs over the last couple of months- it’s not easy to admit that but it really amazes me that the gain is that low.
I had hit the 75 lbs lost mark and now I’m back to the 60 lbs lost- which is still 60 lbs lighter than I was at a little over 6 months ago so I can’t complain too much.
The last 2 months of the year is always the hardest to try to get control of your weight, binge eating and food addiction because these 2 months are literally the biggest “food” months of the year.
Thanksgiving and then the all the Christmas candy that you can only get this time of year- you don’t see chocolate covered cherries all year round! You can’t get Lil Debbie Christmas tree snack cakes- sure- you can get the EXACT snack cake but it’s not in the shape of a Christmas tree damn it!!
I’m not doing the whole “get back on track” bullshit and I’m not doing the “this is my new start date”- I’ve already started- a million times- this isn’t a start/stop journey- it’s an ever going journey that continues rather you want it to or not.
I know I’m going to continue to struggle through the next 1.5 months but there is light at the end of the tunnel- January- when the rest of the world will join with me on this journey; if only for a few weeks.
It will be a “new year, new me” and maybe I can get back to actually losing weight.
The main point right now is to lose a little or at least maintain where I’m at so I don’t gain much more.
Food addiction is 100% real and we go through all the same stuff that other addicts go through; we have episodes where we do something and we don’t know why or even how we could do it but we did it and we feel shame and regret afterwards all while wanting to continue to do that exact thing.
It’s fucking hard.
But I’m still down 60 lbs and I need to take that win and never see the 400 lbs mark again- I truly feel that if I hit that number again, I won’t be able to fight back- I will give up.
I know that about myself so I need to continue fighting to be sure I don’t get to that point.
It’s a never ending fight- which is why the word “diet” pisses so many fat people off- diets won’t fix the problem…diets are temporary and we are fighting a life long battle that only concludes when you die.
Like it or not- each day will pass by and the fight will continue.
Love, Peace and Sharkyness