May 20th, 2021

Today was the day.

Back in March 2020, we were told to pack up and leave our office by 11am…it was already after 10am.

I got my stuff and headed out. Over the next couple of weeks, we got computers set up to work from home, with plans of doing it for a few weeks…then months…and now, 14 months later, I finally returned to my office to pick up my new laptop.

To say it was weird is an understatement.

I literally hadn’t walked into that building for 14 months…hell…I had only been in a handful of buildings during that time. I’m high risk and took Covid serious- so I wasn’t out shopping or any dumb shit like that. We got groceries the few times we didn’t do pick up and I had my mask on and stayed away from folks.

I’ve now been fully vaccinated for about a month or longer and, while I still don’t feel safe, I’ve been going out (WITH MASK) and trying to get things back to normal- as much as possible.

All my calendars still said March 2020, I still had my chap stick laying there. The pen that I had laid down was still there…14 months later…untouched.

Honestly, I felt like I was in a movie- discovering an office that had been abruptly abandoning…which- it had been.

The drive to work felt amazing, I’ve driven only a handful of times over the last 14 months. I had my windows down, blasting the Hamilton Mix Tape…and it just felt like life again.

It felt weird to scan in with my badge, I forgot how the turn thing worked and looked like and idiot; I even went to the wrong floor…long story short, I went to the floor I worked at for 12 years prior.

I was 1, of only 4 or 5 people, in a building that holds over a thousand.

I did what I needed to do and headed back home- I’ll still be working from home for a while and then I’ll go to a 1 day in the office schedule- hopefully for good.

I need to get back to writing, get back to losing all the weight I gained, get back to getting my head right from 14 months of fear, anger, depression and being fucking lost- that’s honestly the only way to describe it.

I felt “renewed” today…I felt “normal” for the first time in 14 months. I still had a mask on and will still be wearing a mask for months to come- maybe forever.

I still hate people, I still don’t want to be close to people or in a large group but I’ve always been that way…so it’s normal for me.

I’ve tried to return to who I was several times over the last 14 months but there was zero desire- who the fuck cares if you are just going to get Covid and die anyways.

Now that my wife and I are fully vaccinated and my son will be in about 4 weeks…it’s finally time…I’m not there yet but it’s finally time to bring Sharky back.

Love, Peace and Sharkyness

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Posted May 20, 2021 by Administrator in category "Thoughts