New Year Cliche

Page One.

How much is that honestly over used…hell, mostly by me!

It doesn’t matter if we like it or not though, that is how life works- each day is a page that gets written and, eventually, all of our books will end.

I actually take it a bit farther though because I don’t like the thought that my entire life is just ONE book…I mean, Harry Potter got 7…or 8 if you count that screenplay thing….or thousands if you consider the fan fiction and I KNOW I could beat that kids ass.

I look at my life as a series of books and I’m currently on book 43; it’s the same story but it’s not the same book as book 6….it just can’t be.

So- each day is a page, each week is a chapter and each year is a book in the series that I call life…well, I actually call it the “Carcharodon Carcharias Saga”.

I need a new book for 2021.

2018 was the hardest year of my life- my appendix burst in March and I honestly almost died…and then my mom died in July.

I spent 2019 trying to recover and then 2020 happened.

If you have followed me a while, you know I dropped 140 lbs during 2018-2019, starting at 440.8 lbs and ending at 299 lbs- I just couldn’t fight through everything with all the emotional eating but I fought until 2020 hit and then I gave up- I admit that; what was the point of fighting anymore?

I honestly didn’t think I would make it out of 2020 but I did and it feels like I’ve gotten my 3rd chance at life and the “3rd time is the charm!”

Right?

My wife and I spent the last week getting ready to make some changes starting today and it really felt different- like it did back in 2018- a switch flipped and I’m just done trying to slowly kill myself with food- it’s now time to slowly try to regain my life.

And sometimes the universe fights you every bit of the way…it’s fought me for the last 3 years and yet, I’m still right here.

SO…this morning, the universe apologized and gave me a sign that NOW is the time.

As I lost weight, folks always asked me about it and I always said I was “440 lbs” but, in reality, it was 440.8 lbs and when you are trying to lose weight…you count the ounces!

I kept telling myself that I haven’t gained it all back so it’s not that bad yet, I can still turn this around…but I have this weird thing about numbers and dates and I have to have a “perfect” starting point- sure, I understand that is just an excuse to give in to my food addiction but I can tell myself what I want…

…well, the universe stepped up today to show me it’s time and it’s on my side….the universe said “OK fat ass, you want perfect numbers….I’ll give you PERFECT NUMBERS!!!”

01/01/2021

440.0 lbs EXACTLY!

“You want to play games….well, put your actions where your mouth is. New year, new book and a number as round as your shape…” – The Universe

Every day I plan to focus (even FORCE myself to focus) on writing and my weight; including fasting, food, exercise and mental issues.

I will need to come back to this over and over and over again to remember that the universe removed itself as one of my excuses and I can no longer blame the universe for my failures.

Like it or not…this book started getting written a second after midnight and, regardless of what I do, it WILL be written.

Love, Peace and Sharkyness
~~~~~shArky~~~~~


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Posted January 1, 2021 by Administrator in category "Thoughts