New Year Cliche
How much is that honestly over used…hell, mostly by me!
It doesn’t matter if we like it or not though, that is how life works- each day is a page that gets written and, eventually, all of our books will end.
I actually take it a bit farther though because I don’t like the thought that my entire life is just ONE book…I mean, Harry Potter got 7…or 8 if you count that screenplay thing….or thousands if you consider the fan fiction and I KNOW I could beat that kids ass.
I look at my life as a series of books and I’m currently on book 43; it’s the same story but it’s not the same book as book 6….it just can’t be.
So- each day is a page, each week is a chapter and each year is a book in the series that I call life…well, I actually call it the “Carcharodon Carcharias Saga”.
I need a new book for 2021.
2018 was the hardest year of my life- my appendix burst in March and I honestly almost died…and then my mom died in July.
I spent 2019 trying to recover and then 2020 happened.
If you have followed me a while, you know I dropped 140 lbs during 2018-2019, starting at 440.8 lbs and ending at 299 lbs- I just couldn’t fight through everything with all the emotional eating but I fought until 2020 hit and then I gave up- I admit that; what was the point of fighting anymore?
I honestly didn’t think I would make it out of 2020 but I did and it feels like I’ve gotten my 3rd chance at life and the “3rd time is the charm!”
My wife and I spent the last week getting ready to make some changes starting today and it really felt different- like it did back in 2018- a switch flipped and I’m just done trying to slowly kill myself with food- it’s now time to slowly try to regain my life.
And sometimes the universe fights you every bit of the way…it’s fought me for the last 3 years and yet, I’m still right here.
SO…this morning, the universe apologized and gave me a sign that NOW is the time.
As I lost weight, folks always asked me about it and I always said I was “440 lbs” but, in reality, it was 440.8 lbs and when you are trying to lose weight…you count the ounces!
I kept telling myself that I haven’t gained it all back so it’s not that bad yet, I can still turn this around…but I have this weird thing about numbers and dates and I have to have a “perfect” starting point- sure, I understand that is just an excuse to give in to my food addiction but I can tell myself what I want…
…well, the universe stepped up today to show me it’s time and it’s on my side….the universe said “OK fat ass, you want perfect numbers….I’ll give you PERFECT NUMBERS!!!”
440.0 lbs EXACTLY!
“You want to play games….well, put your actions where your mouth is. New year, new book and a number as round as your shape…” – The Universe
Every day I plan to focus (even FORCE myself to focus) on writing and my weight; including fasting, food, exercise and mental issues.
I will need to come back to this over and over and over again to remember that the universe removed itself as one of my excuses and I can no longer blame the universe for my failures.
Like it or not…this book started getting written a second after midnight and, regardless of what I do, it WILL be written.
Love, Peace and Sharkyness