Great News!

I’m pre-diabetic!

I know, that sounds like some terrible news- but hear me out.

I’ve spent my life obese, 350+ (highest was 445 lbs) and I would always go to the DR and they would tell me I need to exercise and eat better- but why? The same doctors would run tests on me and everything would come back perfect. At a DR appointment about 6 months ago, my DR literally told me that I was the “perfect example of health”, which I replied “look at me- do I look like perfect health?”

It honestly never made sense to me how I was so overweight but could still takes showers, dress myself, put on shoes while these folks, that weigh what I did- on the reality TV shows, were bed ridden.

What was the exact motivation for me- eat what I want, be lazy and still be in perfect health…it’s hard to get motivated to lose weight in that situation. I tried over and over and I was successful a few times but I always questioned- why? Why am I eating food I don’t like and exercising just to be smaller- I was already in perfect health.

I was the perfect example of “healthy at any size” and even though I didn’t like being fat, just not liking it wasn’t true motivation enough.

Good job, gorgeous wife…pretty amazing life- why worry about my weight? What exactly would I gain from losing?

I always told myself it was “life or death” but then the DR would tell me I’m completely healthy, so I couldn’t lie to myself.

Then my DR called me to go over my last blood work and my A1C had gone up quiet a bit and I was now officially pre-diabetic and not very far from full blown diabetes.

It was honestly a relief- it felt like one of the best days of my life. Almost like validation that there is no such thing as “healthy at any size” and I fully believe that. Screw body positive bullshit. Sure, you should be happy in your own skin but folks have taken that and turned it into something very unhealthy as a reason to just not give a shit. (Me included.)

It was almost like the “want” for bad stuff was just swept away. We ran to Wal-Mart for a food journal and I had no urge to go to the food section or get a candy bar- it was 100% gone.

This has truly hit a “life or death” moment and I feel like that was the motivation I needed- it’s a very small chance I can continue my current habits and my A1C would just stay the same- it’s going up or down and that is up to me.

I don’t do needles. I just don’t. I had two weeks of anxiety, almost passed out, made myself sick, missed an entire day of work and had to have my wife there (like a baby) just to let them do this blood work- if I get diabetes, I die. I can’t do all the stuff I saw my mom do; I can’t do all the things that people on diabetes has to do.

I die.

Maybe it scared me into being motivated. Maybe it was the validation I needed. Maybe I’d rather stop eating Milky Ways than to face dealing with needles so much during the rest of my life. I don’t care why I feel so motivated but I’m taking it and running with it.

Sure- I’ve been motivated before but it was always “self motivation”- this is REAL motivation. I no longer have to lie to myself into thinking I was in bad health due to my habits- it’s here.

I’m happy. I’m excited. I’m motivated.

Love, Peace and Sharkyness

Sharkfin Inc 1995-2024

Posted March 19, 2024 by admin in category "Carcharodon Carcharias Chronicles

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